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Author Topic: Women's Wisdom  (Read 8376 times)
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Joel J.

« on: December 01, 2007, 09:50:33 AM »

Women's Wisdom

· Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
· One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

· My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

· The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
· The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

· The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

· Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
· Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

· I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

· Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
· Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

· Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .....Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

· A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

· The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
· I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
Jr. Member
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Posts: 84

« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2007, 10:32:18 AM »

I like that! I know my sense of direction, well, it wasn't that great to begin with, but it has gotten worse. I can't find my behind with both hands. I attached my keys to my purse so I would stop losing them.  It works well. Now I just need to find my purse!

Our God reigns
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Posts: 1868

« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2007, 04:53:51 PM »

Cheesy  My mother’s name is Rita, but my Dad called her Reat.  I remember once when my Mom was about 70 that my oldest brother was making fun of my Mom’s forgetfulness and he said that she needed to have a little personal recorder in her pocket at all times so that she could just refer to it for abbreviated reminders.  My mother then pulled her hand out of her sweater pocket and put her hand to her mouth to mimic her use of such a device and said;...

“Reat, your recorder’s in your pocket.”   Grin


          "Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure.
                 For if you do these things, you will never fall"
                      II Peter 1:10  NIV
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